And yes... I'm posting part by part all at once for a while. :O Felt like the thing to do.
Early upon the morning of the second day of the first month of the fifteenth year into the reign of Gerald the Ninth, forty-second king of the northern kingdom of the eastern-west coast of Northoverunderland, on the southern continent of the northen half of the world, a man of an insignificant age stood within an insignificant plain, in such an insignificant manner that something significant happened.
Now, this significant happening was significant in nature, so I would ask all to heed my request and pay attention to that of my asking. Which is that you would make it so that I don't have to repeat this. Which, being writ, would be impossible, and I therefore ask that you ignore that.
Anyway, this man was not myself, as I was laying in the grass nearby. This man is the man who would later be known as the man who survived the attack on the gasp monster, afore mentioned in another chapter of my chronicle. He was a man of habit, as most men of habit were, and being habitual did things out of habit. At this time, he was fulfilling his habit by-
Actually, let me start over.
His name was Harry. He liked to walk in the woods. However, today he walked in the plains instead, thus making his insignificant habits moreso insignificant. And that's significant. If he hadn't walked in the plains, he wouldn't have met me. And saved me. From a most horrible and unfortunate death.
As afore mentioned, which you might want to reread, as clarity is good, slimes had come down upon our world like a plague. Or like rain. Or bunnies... No matter how it happened, they were here, and they ranged in color and size and viscosity. Upon this specific day, which was the second day of the first month of the year that this happened in, I had happened to be mauled by the most frightful of creatures. Well, most frightful, short of the Gasp itself. T'was a purple slime-bunny. Like I said, they spread like bunnies, because they could spread on bunnies. And with them. So this poor bunny had been infected with a purple slime. And it attacked me. Now, as I had unfortunately had the misfortune to misplace my trusty and fortunate knife, I was defenseless. So, the bunny had knocked me down... Or rather forced me to trip, and was now hopping upon my chest as it looked into my eyes, readying itself for the lethal blow that would end my life, a man happened to be nearby, and proceeded to kick the slime bunny.
It is at this time that I would like to mention that slime bunnies are not, in fact, bunnies at all. See, upon the slimes attack, the bunny is killed by the horrid creatures, and the creature takes it's shape. As such, no bunnies were harmed by any of our actions. T'would be a most cowardly and shameful action for any coward to do.
With that off my chest, and here I mean the slime-bunny, and not the above paragraph, which is also nice to have off my chest, I was able to stand and recollect my wit after the frightful occasion. I turned to thank the man, who happened to be busy watching the now-flying slime-bunny-bird. Of course it was a bird now, as slimes and bunnies do not fly, unless birds get involved.
As I tried to thank the man, he walked away. And I noted the bottles of water and contained slime essence from all reaches of slime kind, and marked the sight into my memory, for this was a man not to be against.
Now that I was alone in the field, I stood and dusted myself off, knowing full well that a dirty suit is the mark of a bruised dignity, and then headed into town, where the next part of my tale shall begin.
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